Monday, January 10, 2011

Email your son because you are bored.

My mum keeps a jar or 2 of skippy brand peanut butter in the deep desk drawer commonly reserved for the obsolete act of filing. Around 1 or 2pm, as her attempt at a lean lunch proves to be a failure of sustenance once again, a big spoon from the office kitchen is called into service as the ambassador of creamy goodness. I know this because shes my mum, and i know this because following this mouth cement of a daily afternoon treat, i always get an Email.

My spam folder once was the default destination for these little snippets of goober infused thought. However, despite the vast majority of pointlessness I occasionally receive something of dire importance. Peanut butter is both a bullshit producer and a memory stimulant for my mum and its up to me to go through the spread.

I will go through a few of the many categories of pointless email i get everyday and why no matter the reasoning they continue like a juggernaut of uselessness.

O wait, this is illegible, apparently yellow text only works well if your colorblind to white.
ill just highlight this mum.

ahhh much better. this is a "change your life completely" message. It states that st. Mary's College of Southern Maryland has a masters degree program offered in teaching. they accept about 9 students a year at a rate of something around 20,000 us $ a year. excluding the fact that i have little or no interest in teaching and have adamantly expressed so for many years, this education is offered a solid 3000 miles from my current residence and has about as much bearing as fax machines on my daily life.

not much to say here... not a software engineer nor do i have any experience with programming anything other then logic in 3rd grade. think that is a "misguided employment suggestion" email
This is the "i watched entertainment tonight last night over a bottle of wine" message.
i think it speaks for itself...

1 comment:

  1. "i can't believe that's all from one mum"
    -Zoe Powell, Brighton.